Real Nazis Decry Nazi Comparisons

Aug 23, 2009

Dateline - Biloxi, Mississippi

After weeks of comparisons several Neo-Nazi and Klan groups came out in force to decry the growing number of comparisons between Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama. Their spokesperson, Randy Joe Hickock, spoke passionately from behind the homemade podium as the head of newly formed the “Alliance to Support Segregation”.

“We here at A.S.S. are alarmed at the recent and growing comparisons between Mr. Adolf Hitler and the Third Reich and this negroid muslim Barack Hussein Obama. Obviously we don’t appreciate anyone spreading the lie that he is anything like us. He hangs out with jews, he is a negroid, and we believe he was born in Africa. Our greatest sadness is in the fact that the people peddling the lies about Barack Obama being equivalent to Hitler are not our great nemesis, the mainstream media, but our own kind, people who were spreading the lies that we helped to create about him being a muslim, being born in Kenya, and having smoked crack cocaine.”

At this point Randy Joe became emotional. “I remember the first time I sat in a meeting in South Carolina and the right wing conspiracy nuts decided that we wanted to claim that Obama was born in Kenya… that was my idea. And they took it and hugged me and gave me a coupon for free wings and beer at Hooters and I thought they understood me and loved me. Now they turn their backs on me like this? They know good and well that Barack Obama ain’t nuthin Nazi or Nazi-like. They are just lying and the Nazi and Klan groups of America are not going to put up with them using us and our rumor mongering mills anymore. It was bad enough when they put that skanky flight attendant on the ballot and told us to vote for her instead, but now they are downright lying about lies, and that ain’t right.”

When asked what his response is specifically to several right wing pundits who are explicity using the comparison, Bobby Ray Franklin took over for the overly emotional Randy Joe. “Lookit, we grew up on Rush Limbaugh and drank beers to Glenn Beck. By the way, Glenn Beck is a Mormon and going to the fiery pits of Hell. We all know Rush has his shortcomings, like stealin pills, and hiring that black guy to answer his phone calls, and paying that black guy a good wage, but generally he’s been good for our movement. We was shocked and confused when he came out and said that Barack Obama was like us. We think he may be on that junk again. We were saddened even further when Pat Buchanan refused to return our phone calls.”

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